I hope it's not too late for a recap of my holidays.
They were happy. I spent time with people that I love.
Santa brought me a huge furry new bed, which so far I've had no interest in. Sometimes my family members sit in it if they want to converse with me.
As for New Year's resolutions: I didn't make any. Life has been stressful enough recently. Would it be constructive to place additional expectations upon myself?
I'm poised to start an oral chemotherapy regime of Chlorambucil (Leukeran) combined with Prednisone. These are strong drugs. Just having them in my body is a scary prospect, although the web includes numerous reports from veterinarians attesting that this regime is both effective and generally well-tolerated.
Another element here is also alarming. Chlorambucil, a powerful drug, can actually be carcinogenic to those coming into contact with it incidentally. Directions for the administration of Chlorambucil caution that it should be handled wearing protective gloves because it can be absorbed through skin contact. And not only during the direct handling of the medicine:
Because of the potential for absorption of the drug or its hazardous metabolites through the skin via contact with urine, feces, saliva, vomit, etc., you should wear gloves to clean these up. Washable items coming in contact with these should be handled wearing gloves (and a protective gown if needed) and then washed twice. Use these precautions for a minimum of 48 hours after the last dose is administered.
Saliva?
I'm a licker. Other dogs specialize in hunting, herding, retrieval, and so on. I specialize in licking. I love to lick. I emit probably two hundred licks a day. My favorite spot to lick is the area around and including the human nose and mouth. It is my way of connecting, and of expressing my joy in the world. When my licking is repulsed I feel like I'm being punished.
So this is going to be a challenge for us. We're going to need to eliminate the cues that start me into my licking spiral, and add new elements to maintain my joie de vivre. There are many ways to skin a cat [such an unfortunate phrase]. Although licking must be eliminated from my happiness lineup for the time being, I will endeavor to keep this from negatively affecting the quality of my life.
I might take a page from Dolce, who has gotten into contemplation, eastern religion, inner awareness - that sort of thing. She has a favorite meditation spot on the edge of the bluff. She seems so at peace. I could try that.
I was out at the bluff when I was approached by a petite fan.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bugsy walking past. It would have been nice to join him, but I knew I should not pass up an opportunity -- nay, a duty -- to help acclimatize this impressionable young person to the canine world.
The very next day, I was gratified to see my young protégée paying it forward by coaching a contemporary as to how to relate to me.
Sunday morning we did the Secret Stairs Walk #33 (Bronson Canyon Loop) with Teresa. The walk took us through an attractive part of the Hollywood Hills, starting and ending at the Scientology Celebrity Centre.
The Celebrity Centre's website explains that it is intended to "cater to those individuals.... upon whom society depends the most....the artists, politicians, leaders of industry, sports figures and anyone with the power and vision to create a better world."
The website goes on,
Now one might argue that these individuals already have benefits that many will never have. But, ask any one of them — ask yourself — it can become a lonely world. Subject to the unusual pressures that come with prominence and responsibility, being looked upon under a microscope for good or bad — these are burdens others can’t imagine. Not to mention the counter-attack such individuals are subjected to by those less-ambitious who would rather fight to maintain a “status quo” than allow another to attempt a change or improvement.
You see, there’s no shame in helping the artist. In fact, in the larger scope of societal help, we had better help the artist if we wish to advance the society at all.
When we returned to the Ons' house, I wasn't sure that I wanted to leave. I sat on their stoop for a while, thinking about how they understand how to treat an artistic Celebrity such as myself. They get the pressures that come with my prominence and responsibility. When I stay with them I feel like I can let go of my burden for a little while; get out from under the microscope of scrutiny that is my regular companion.
Teresa spoke softly and supportively with me. She acknowledged the hardships of living what others might see as my cosseted life at the bluffs. Promising that, just as the Celebrity Centre pampers other prominent leaders, she and Roger would be there to help and cater to me when I really needed them, she encouraged me to get in the car and cross the hill back to my lonely world on the other side.
Which I did, because I had an inkling that there might be a really good sunset that night.
This seems like a good time to look back on the hopes I voiced on the first day of last year and see how things panned out.
Hmm. Not so good. ALS is still present, an awful scourge. Although a suspect was arrested in the hit-and-run death of David Pregerson, there is still regular news of new hit-and-runs. Inequality in America is if anything more starkly defined than it was a year ago; there continue to be plenty of homeless children.
OK. Let's go back another year.
On the first day of 2013, I was wishing improved health for Hillary Clinton, Kerry and Dexter. Hillary and Dexter pulled through nicely. Kerry did not.
I did have more consistent success in that year's personal resolutions for myself. I have kept the weight off. I continue to think deep thoughts. I have pretty much mastered the wait-to-cross-the-street thing. No jumping through hoops yet, but that was specified as a reach goal, so not achieving it shouldn't count as a failure.
But I see that it took me more than a year to fully achieve the 2013 goals. Maybe that should be factored into future goal-setting. Which I will take a stab at right now, also taking pains this time to identify goals that are achievable and within my sphere of influence.
So, for the two-year arc of 2015 - 2016, I hope to:
- Learn to better moderate my licking in line with social mores
- Catch lots of great sunsets
- Learn German
- Be slower to agitate to be held while out 'walking'
- Travel some more (so broadening!)
- Appreciate every moment with my family
I will also hold out hope to see the arc bend toward a more just society.
...I square my shoulders and wish for righteousness in the New Year. I hope there will be no more hit and runs, no more ALS, no more homeless children. More licks for all, opportunity and jobs, plenty of rawhides, and many happy times -- that is my dream for all in the year to come.
Although I am not large in stature, I cast a long shadow.
(Quarter provided for scale.)
We had a lot of guests recently, but then they trickled away, back to their sophisticated lives in New York and San Francisco.
My life stays centered on my sofa. I could feel envious of the road not taken, but instead I choose to view myself as the rock of stability that travelers can count on when they return.
We were all minding our own business when the UFO appeared.
It swooped toward me as I was pooping, then backed off. Apparently it wanted to avoid conflict.
Fine with me.
Live and let live, I say.
What will this year bring?
I hope, good things for all.
Specifically I want to single out Hillary Clinton and my friend Kerry for good wishes health-wise. Among canines, my friend Dexter comes to mind. I hope his tumor will be controlled.
As for me, Lambie, I feel a renewed vigor after losing several pounds in the course of my recent illness. My plan for 2013 is to stay slimmed down, and to continue thinking deep thoughts. I'm also thinking it would be nice to acquire some talents. For example, I'd like to learn to stop at curbs and wait for a signal before stepping into the street.
Maybe also a showstopper trick would be good. Perhaps I could learn to jump through a flaming hoop. Though I don't want to get too ambitious. Walking through a non-flaming hoop might be almost as impressive.
365 days. That's a lot of licking opportunities for me. I intend to appreciate them all.
